"Love and Jewel Thievery in a Cold Climate "
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Once, many moons ago, when Rubber Cheese went by a different name, they were in love. But they were also a jewel thief, of rare and valuable distinction. One day, when they told their beau that they needed to go on another trip abroad for 'work', their love said that they would accompany them. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, Rubber Cheese agreed.
They thought long and hard about how they would go about stealing their latest sparkly target without their love noticing, and came up with the clever idea to hide the jewel in some rubber cheese, and pretend to carry it about as a local snack/prop.
All went according to plan, the heist complete and the jewel safely hidden in the rubber cheese, when their love said they would like a bite of the excellent looking cheese. Without time to stop them, their love ate the cheese and choked, causing a most peculiar and tragic death.
With both their love and the jewel gone (it being difficult to extract a jewel from a corpse, and not very pleasant). They took on the name Rubber Cheese, till they could finally repent their part in the death of their love...