"A rainy night in Mudflat-on-Ditch"
Did I ever tell you lot about Michelin Pizza and their secret ingredient? Well, one night when the Wok n Roll Chinese takeaway was closed, I ordered a pizza.
After an eternity of forty minutes I heard a crash and a scream from outside. I rushed out to find that Attila the Pizza boy had crashed his moped into my land rover. Atilla had bounced into the road and was unconcious either from the impact of the crash or a litre of vodka.
The moped had bounced into a ditch and was on fire.
Using my army first aid training, I quickly stripped Atilla of watch wallet and rings and then pulled the pizza from under the burning moped tyres...
Her-indoors, unaware of my luck, took my generous offer of first slice and seemed to suffer no ill effects other than an aching jaw.
"I've never seen cheese like this..." She contemplated "what's it called?" ...